Lately ive been interacting a lot on social media. Ive becoming more expressive. Maybe cause by loneliness. On the semester break i got no one to goof around with unlike when im on study week where i surrounded by peer who are sharing mood with me. We got scolded together play together and waste time together. So we can play together bcause we are in the same mood. When im home, everyone got their own activity and im the only one left home. So we dont share the same sentiments. While im laughing watching tv at home, they might get scolded by their teacher at school. So i cant goof around someone who are grumpy. Because that feel so wrong. And awkward.
Usually i filled my time by trying new recipe on internet or cook something i craving for. My mother will go fulfilling her hobby, fishing, every evening. And i refuse to join her cause i cant stand watching those fish got stuck at the hook. I think that is barbarian. They got fooled into trying to fill their stomach but end up in human stomach. Ouch.
Im also unhappy with how my brother live his life. Ive scold him many times but it all goes to waste. Many times ive give up on him but how can i. How will i answer myself one day when im seeing he is living a hard life. How about his wife. His child. So i pick myself up and try again. But till this very moment, he is still a loser. Im mad. Im even madder when i cant give up. Frustrating.
I always believe the experience are the best teacher and the best leader is the one who lead the way by showing the way on how to act rather te one who told their people on how to act. In malay, kepimpinan melalui contoh tauladan. Thats why im myself struggling eventhough i at the age where i want to have fun the most at all times. But i believe i need to be a good samaritan so that i can be a mould to help to shape my younger siblings.
Family are a gift given to the gifted which is us. So we need to treasure it and give our best to put it on the top.
