Every semester, around this time, i always had a friend coming over. He always keep me company and make me feel better. He is a friend who will come running everytime im in despair. When i am alone and sad, he will come and embrace me. He is my guardian angle, mr. depression.
But i never enjoyed his company. When he is around, i lose all my strength and direction. I constantly convinced by his word. He promise me the moon and the star. He promise me the things i long the most, a pain free life. And we all know better, a pain free life is not here, it is in the hereafter. "Should we leave together? Duduk sini pun dah takda benda". I always. Always heard his voice.
I had considering his offer so many times. He always waiting for my hand. And i cant wait to take his too. But my other hand wont let go. My rationality, faith, and resposibility are tying me. Ending up, im lock up in this drain. Beaten till breaks but still wearing the smile in the face.
Be grateful they said. Many people only can dream of your life they said. Others had it worse, you are nothing they said. Little do they know, i am dying inside. If and only if i have an ounce of bravery.
