Kun fayakun

I always believe everything happens for a reasons. I had went through many occasions that prove that before. I am a true believer of the allah's kun fayakun phrase. Where it means, when allah approve it, it will happens.

But believe only is not enough to mend my broken heart. The pain of failing after trying so hard is too much. Im almost die everytime.

For the time being, the odds always on the opposite site from me. Everything went left no matter how many times i tell them to go right. They never listen!

I dont know if this is a redirection or simply punishment for my wrongdoings. I am a human with a lit of sins. I have cross over many lines, breaks many rules, rebels continuously.  I know it. I realised.

But please Allah, let lea finished her degree. Give her enough strength. I had invest everything in this journey. My youth, my money, my family. I gave up everything for this. Let me finish ya allah. Please let me. You are the only one who is capable. I believe in you. Dont test me on this. I am fragile.