Why oppa

Uri oppa is leaving!

And i cant let u go oppa. Its  true oppa they wil never understand us, you yourself know that better than anyone else but still you couldnt live without their understanding.  why it is important to you for them to understand us? Cant we just live oppa? Why u got to take you own life with your own hand. No matter how beautiful they said you are for still donating all your organ before you leave, even if it is your last wish, i cant fulfill your wish oppa. How do i say " u did well" when u just give up on life halfway? Im going crazy oppa.

Dont you know time will heals oppa? Dont you know everything will be better? Cant you wait a little longer? Do you need to leave that urgently? How dare you hurt me like this and still having the nerve to ask me to not being hurt? Dont you even know how much i like you oppa?

Everytime im having a hard times, i will regain strength by watching you, no matter how long time you will take, i will wait patiently but how could you leave and ask me to say goodbye forever. Oppa is cruel. I will never forgive you oppa.

Is life that hard oppa? Im having a hard time also. Unlike you oppa, i will never be enough. At least oppa is handsome, cool, have beautiful voice and excel in your field. I am here wondering how to be good, but i know i will never be good enough. All this time i had wasted, i have nothing in my mind. As if i never learn any shit. Thats how sucks i am.

You know oppa, due to shock i fall deep into depression for 3 days! I had panic attack and for a moment i thought i will be with you soon. But god not love me that much, so here i am still breathing. I dont even have the courage to stop breathing. You know oppa, if i stop breathing right now, i will go straight to your side. We will go straight to the hell together. Im a big sinner.

You know well oppa, nobody would understand us. So why dont you try to understand yourself better? Why you dont go easy on yourself? Is the pain stop oppa? Is it becoming easier? Im hurt oppa! It is more painfull because the pain is killing me but im not died. I want to die also oppa. But i want to repent first. Let me be a failure in this world only. I want to live big in the hereafter, the heaven.

Im at the most critical phase in my life where im finishing this semester, taking all the tests, facing final soon and u got to leave. I will never recover oppa! Im going to fail better!

Sleep well oppa, but forgive me, i cant say you did well.

My beautiful soul, jonghyun oppa. I will forever missing you, uri jonghyun oppa 😘